This has been in my head since last night’s debate. Anything in italics is from the original.

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

Because he’s a total loser, I tell you.

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Massive, massive limbs, they’re going to be great.

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

Not gates, a wall. A huge wall and Mexico is gonna pay for it.

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Women…you know, it doesn’t really matter what reports write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Speaking of imprisoned, I like people who weren’t captured.

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

That mother, she had nothing to say. She probably, maybe she wasn’t allowed to have anything to say. You tell me.

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

I have seen women manipulate men with just a twitch of their eye — or perhaps another body part.

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

You know, China has bridges that make the George Washington Bridge look like small potatoes.

“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she

We’re going to build a wall, and we’re going to stop it. It’s going to end.

With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,

My entire life, I’ve watched politicians bragging about how poor they are, how they came from nothing, how poor their parents and grandparents were. And I said to myself, if they can stay so poor for so many generations, maybe this isn’t the kind of person we want to be electing to higher office. How smart can they be? They’re morons.

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

Give me clean, beautiful and healthy air – not the same old climate change (global warming) bullshit! I am tired of hearing this nonsense.

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

People are coming into our country like we have no idea who they are, where they are from, what their feelings about our country is… This is going to be the great Trojan horse of all time.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

But only if they’ve been extremely vetted.

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

I need to see who’s at the door because they could be a Muslim.