When you know an inevitable thing like death is going to happen, you put it out of your mind.

When the inevitable thing, without warning or prompt, gets a timetable, it becomes the centerpiece of your life, on display where you can’t avoid it, no matter which direction you turn.

I accepted that my mother would die long ago; as she aged, I knew the time was getting closer, but I hadn’t considered that other forces would intervene, bringing closer to soon.

The prognosis isn’t great. It’s not the worst it could be, no, and that’s likely coming eventually. I’m angry at the idea that she could suffer. No matter my disagreement with her, I never wished her harm. I never wished a fate such as the one she has before her.

I’ve always known my mother’s eventual death would force my hand in some way. My decisions now have another influential factor now that I know my time with her is actually short.

I can do what I can, which is spend more time with her, get her house in order, take care of things as they happen. Relocation isn’t an option but a more frequent visit schedule is. My life is going to be impacted, this is a fact. I just hope that my absence isn’t going to estrange me from my loved ones. I hope the ones I love will understand this is a temporary thing, and that I need them now more than ever before.